9th December 2022

Highly improbable, nay, absurd happenstances that we accept so easily in fictional accounts, we would poo-poo in actuality. That thinking would certainly be accepted as the normal manner of the universe, that right is right, and falsehood more than plainly obvious, undisputable, unquestionable.

Three playing cards from the minor suite of Spades are arguing in a rose garden.

“Just paint the whole flower red!”

The five of spades is getting rather irritated with the number seven.

“The Queen will pass here momentarily.”

“But it is pointless. These are white rose bushes.”

The two of spades look horrified by the sevens outright blasphemy, and somewhat alarmed at the indistinct shouting coming from the edged of the rose garden. Then suddenly the bellicose sentences become clear.

“OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”.

The Queen of Hearts strides in view, followed closely by a trembling axe man, who knows his time will come soon enough.

An improbable, ridiculous, fictional scenario? Now let you imagination wander just a little… …

 In the strange illogical universe of ‘Everything4Sale’ there has just been what the citizens like to call a democratic election. The states last leader has been handsomely voted out of office, to be replaced by an exceptionally old chap of a far more presentable and trustworthy character. Thus far everything seems fairly reasonable, and much as would be anticipated and welcomed.

Unfortunately, the cast aside leader has an overwhelming case of the self-importance’s and cannot accept his dismissal.  He bitches, moans, throws constant tantrums, up to and past the date of his supersedence. It is now almost a year later in ‘Everything4sale’, and the old leaders fans are still painting the roses his favored color, a very blank and featureless white.  Yet he still screams,

“OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”.

8th December 2022

The White Room is my ultimate expression of detachment, being supremely isolated but able to finitely observe my immediate and surrounding space, inclusive of any individuals therein enclosed. This concept was illustrated for me at a very young age whilst isolated in a stark hospital room, decorated in the most brilliant white quite predictably, for an extended period of time. The visual image and emotional influence have lingered inordinately without any indication of evanesce.

My lifestyle do seem very solitary, cloistered, but that condition is as much by personal choice as being enforced by election, or   compatriot selection. I am not an easy human to share air with, and not terribly forgiving of other’s idiosyncrasies. My well-masticated opinion favors the notion that homo sapiens, whilst superficially needy, is not receptive to the same fault in others. Many a relationship simply has a sell by date, a maximum period of time before the benefits of closeness are outweighed by any accompanying aggravations. Mankind is famously fickle.\

7th December 2022

We live in a society that deems certain habits, practices, as unacceptable, unsavory, unhygienic, inadvisable, verging on the blasphemous, the unholy. We all possess such minor quirks, odd practices, singular ticks, and have suffered the embarrassment of our reaction to a stimulus being frowned upon, of being distanced publicly.

The most recent curse to manifest is the need so sneeze suddenly, openly, violently, repeatedly, only to be made more heinous when accompanied by sniffles, a need to clear, blow, the nasal passages. This affliction, through the connectivity with COVID has easily surpassed that previously number one offense, the inability to ignore the urge to urinate, pass water, have a tinkle. Both functions are perfectly natural and cause no real offence or harm in actioned discretely, but are seen and a severe failure of self-control, good manners, permissible behaviors.

My particular foible is a unignorable need, desire, to scratch profusely, relieve manually, openly, immediately, the tickling presence on an aggravating, fidgeting, itch. I have no doubt that if the assistance was available, and a person agreeable, I would quite happily pay an attractive looking soul, with suitably manicured nails, to scratch my back and as when the inclination took me. Such an arrangement do seem to be the absolute peak of luxury, decadence, unrestrained hedonism.

I recall as a boy being instructed to stop my scratching as it gave a most unfortunate impression, although the only fleas I ever experienced were of the sheep variety, encountered after a rather damp boyhood bivouac amidst a Welsh farm.

The effects of carbolic soap and an abundance of good fresh heated water was quite enough keep the particular human variance of the parasitic beast away from my sweat sources.

The classification of antisocial activities is very much a matter of fashion, the result if fears current to the age, decade, or single year. Today, it is a particularly unpleasant form of virus, tomorrow who can tell, just hopefully something environmentally or scientifically curable, survivable.

6th December 2022

Charles Darwin’s visit to the Galapagos Islands aboard HMS Beagle from 1831 -1836 thrust the scientific communities understanding of our own roots and the complex story of Evolution from an ancient fable logical and somewhat comprehensible chain of happenstance. The voyage provided enough data and specimens to swamp London museums and institutions for many years hence, with the one notable exception.

The Galapagos Giant Tortoise, of Galapagos Turtle as was earlier known, was renowned for three qualities, its incredible longevity, quite monstrous size, and most importantly, its entire carcass was unbelievably succulent to the human palate, quite the most sumptuous meat any if the consumers had ever tasted.  Unsurprisingly not one creature made it back for zoological classification to the British homeland for another of three decades.

The ‘Mock Turtle’, exemplified by Lewis Carrol as a sad beast, and tinned as a tasty soup by the Hienz company, are mere reflections of the original seamen’s delight.

5th December 2022

Not seeing you hurts
Do shame me
For the measure of my friendships is small
Embarrassingly so
Reflecting the inner sadness of my soul.

I exist in a small universe
Exclusive and contracted by choice
Defined momentarily with a glance
Perhaps fleeting word of understanding

Vagueness suits my many loves
Keeps them safe and distant
A needed constraint on emotional penury
Loneliness is preferable to unsuitability.

So many words to describe hopelessness
Too many apt and well-fitting phrases
Yet failure is the most relevant label
For a solitary embodiment traipsing fitfully.

4th December 2022

I am unable to imagine that the act of camping as is presently contemplated, occasioned, stylized, advertised, glorified and a leisure pastime, would have slightest attraction to our forebears. A practice adapted from the military idea of the bivouac, to enable the well-organized party of travelers, explorers, adventurers, to trapse vast distances through unwelcoming, virgin territory, for some most inane and prestigious of purposes.

At best a very complicated strategy, organized quite obviously to protect, coddle, enable the expeditions leaders, the tip of that very formally arranged hierarchy, to manage their designs as completely and comfortably as possible, utilizing the labor and skills of numerous underlings in the process. A most inefficient and unequal way of proceeding.  

Naturally I played at outdoorsmanship when a lad, as a scout, a festival attended, a bit of a Jack, but the all-round enjoyment of the experience paled in comparison to and sumptuous hotel, even a run of the mill B and B. I am a proud loafer through and through.

3rd December 2022

People imagine there is something noble, righteous about being primitive, barbarous, there is not. Mankind has successfully climbed out to of that swamp though centuries of endeavor, struggle, cheating, conniving, fingernail ruining clawing upwards to the highest plain of comfort and superiority. ‘Tis quite beside the point that all we have gained is underserved, goes against the natural rules of the universe, had advanced our species influence far beyond anything due or warranted.

But having gained such an ascendency why should we relax our grip on the arms of the throne of power, be magnanimous with our success, and share the wealth with each and every other being?

 Selfishness is one of humanities greatest assets.  Have we not blithely reduced the viability of our very own planet simply for the provision of a little extra heating, the ability to travel vast unnecessary distances, and to pile on totally unneeded calories to the obvious detriment of all other life forms.

2nd December 2022

People, hopeful people, particularly educators and parents, imagine they are living their lives in a way that will assist their charges, their offspring, to advance in life more easily, with less friction, than would otherwise be possible, or probable. Such hopes are of course quite pointless. Existence, time, the future is no so easily manipulated, too many arbitrary factors will thrust themselves between the young and their opportunities, chances, accomplishments, effectively their entire fate.

I do not like to rain on any mentors parade, but children, teenagers, adolescents, are not inclined to be susceptible to lessons, advice, suggestions, the guiding hand, however well any help and assistance may be intended. They are headstrong, independent, free thinking, wholly capable of advanced logic and reasoning, quite easily as cognitive as any of their elders might possibly imagine themselves to be.

They are after all rapidly maturing human beings with all the inherent skills and failings our species  so fully possesses.

1st December 2022

Behold the visage of that most cruel and unforgiving lunar period, the woeful month of December, precursor of all things frigid and coldblooded, the threshold to the full outrage of winters trials and consequences.

I find the chill to be no great enemy, adversary, he is so easily rejected from my presence with warm clothing and residual heating, but thus speaks the comfortable higher echelon of society, a position justified purely financially, the result of good fortune rather than any particular deserving skillset of purpose.  Life is pointed unfair, aiding the blessed few, opposed to the more abundant needy. Has eternally been so, since to very moment an acceptable hierarchy sprouted quite undeservedly from a society bent on finding social order, no matter comparative any obvious requirements or warranted rewards. Equitability has never been a significant or defining measure for success.

As I type this missive I perch upon a comfortable fur covered throne, wrapped in insulated apparel, and sipping at a hot beverage. Existence can be so terribly harsh.

30th November 2022

What phenomenon can create in the highly representational realm of mankind can create pure, undiluted terror? Naught but the supreme majesty of undefined imagination. Within that dark, damp, spectral invested dungeon, the wide gambit if humanities worst visualizations flit and crawl unconstrained, free of all impediments.  

Beware the cesspit if the wholly unfettered nonconformist.