25th April 2022

Declarations and assurances of love do not impress me, I have been beloved too often, with far too much fragility to be so easily deluded. I have an excellent conception of what love is supposed to indicate, and it seldom conforms to the standard measure used by the majority. I love my parents unconditionally, unquestionably, undeniably, notwithstanding their faults, occasional harshness’s, inabilities to understand my very individual quirks, an unwillingness to put aside their conceptions simply for my benefit, whether such would be reasonable or entirely excessive.

In my mind my uncompromising parental love is the only variant worth extolling, any other lesser beast is but an admiration, approbation, endorsement.

I have verbalized my love numerous times to other presences in my life, indicating respect, desire, admiration, empathy, infatuation.  Physical ‘love’ is most easy to recognize, having decidedly noticeable effects. Spiritual ‘love’ is more refined, being arbitrary, dependent on considerations changeable, amendable, liable to transformation. Both however are as liable to end dramatically, without clear reason or indication, simply because the flavor of the day has changed. Hence love is an emotion best avoided generally, being fickle, prone to capriciousness, impulsiveness, inconsistency. Friendship, fellowship, companionship, is a much better arrangement, less draining during, and most decidedly after the proclivity runs its course.  

And where, I hear you pertinently ask, does this leave romance? Exactly where that nomenclature deserves, within the imaginations and boundaries of the fictional realm we are all inclined to inhabit for as long as the magic can be continued of endured.

The wonderous land of unicorns and rainbows do make us all feel warm and desired, wanted despite our most grievous faults, of which we all possess so many. Even the taste of pinning once the newness has rubbed off can be most amenable, loneliness is after all a most desolating state, one that makes even the shackles and proscriptions of betrothal advantageous.

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