3rd April 2022

My browsers weather forecasting app has recently added a most exciting new caveat, ‘rain coming’. This might at first seem depressing, but actually has several saving graces. Rain is upcoming and therefore logically it is presently dry, and the foreseeing of future weather events is always arbitrary, so coming is most frankly a might be, a vagary, a possible and fairish bet, but definitely not a certainty.

Being born in Britain any hope of a cessation of rain is accepted my me as a most opportune circumstance. If I was to be totally honest, there is no way the heavens could ever possibly pour as much in the United Kingdom as is proudly proclaimed by poets and druids alike, or we natives would be awash from morn till night, a constant sopping rag of drippiness, with the constitutions and hides of hippopotamuses.

The English language had a strange synthesis with weather, specifically humidity. Dampness, sogginess, dryness, becoming vital as parts of speech to describe we human beasts’ traits, particularly our weaknesses.

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