23rd February 2022

February is always the shortest month of the year thanks be, for it is in my experience most decidedly the least enjoyable or rewarding one of the year. That fact is a most exasperating anomaly, as the second month of the year includes many an anniversary near to my heart, including my own birthday, and of course Saint Valentines day which if the publicity is to be believed is the most cherished day for all things romantic and sensual.

When I was younger I do admit the probable arrival of gifts and goodies to celebrate my birth was extremely exciting, although frankly I was never a great lover of parties and the like, finding them generally tedious, perhaps the first indicator of my increasing love affair with privacy and antisociality. My families get togethers were far too grand, too many people, too much posing and pretending, falsely indicting everyone was close and cared extraordinarily, when in all honesty most could hardly wait to recross the threshold.

I was perhaps ten before I noticed the diminishing rewards for avoiding demise, the number of gifts dropping dramatically, although friends and relatives still bothered to  send cards, ever emblazoned in a large font upon the front with a conformation of my new age in calendar years. By sixteen my celebrations had become purely personal, with friends alone attending, gifts being surreptitious donations of booze and snout for the crew. February twenty five retained some joy, but the rest of the month was pants, to converse in adolescent.

The atmosphere in the world at large seems most erratic, leaders bickering, threatening, planning, making statements that whilst not utterly depressing do push us all to the very verge of despair. But another proof of the existence of February downers? That strange disorder demoralizing humanity as a species, a monstrous garlic press designated for our kind alone, now there a graphically perturbing illustration!

Five more February days to survive, ‘tis not so much to request after my previous wasting of so much blood and time.

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