Every few days I find myself scanning through my contacts, my few remaining relatives, long separated friends, neighbors, past romances, the catalogue of my nearest and dearest, in some vain attempt to see they are well, flourishing, continuing, in these troubled and threatening times. ‘Tis not a long task, a matter of but minutes, to recognize, remember clearly, place in some sort of personal history, the precious souls that a well lived life has left scattered in many differing places, spread across four continents. All terribly missed, each one irreplaceable, most never to be seen by these gray eyes ever again.
Existence has been truly good to me, introduced me to a crew of extraordinary individuals, whom mostly I have loved, admired, yet often disappointed in my own inimitable style. Their absence pains me, sometimes crushed my spirit simply through the loss of their company, the inability to grasp them tight, squeeze their hand just once more in mine. Utterly selfish desires, but heart felt beyond my capacity to express.