I have an ever-growing list of projects, things that I need to do, would like to do, that might in their completion bring me an elevated feeling of comfort or bliss.
Many of these jobs, for labor the majority of them count as, I am obliged to fulfil on a regular basis, grocery shopping, shelling out on monthly bills, laundry, vacuuming, the occasional dust of sweep, and of course completed and publishing my daily blogs. Failing to complete any of these duties of import is inclined to bring an unbearable cloud of inner guilt down around my person.
The less immediately vital, as in keeping up to date with reading, watching current enticing shows and movies, making moments to be in touch with friends and family, being available to others as required or demanded, I am inclined to perform with perhaps less alacrity, become more and more protective of my remaining time. I sometimes, perhaps selfishly, would rather sit and listen to the raindrops fall upon the roof above, or the eerie bur somehow affixing sound of the wind whistling its merry way through the rose bush surrounding my front door.
I am quite possibly indolent, lackadaisical, inclined to a leisurely perspective on all matters less indispensable that breathing, which in itself can be regulated by a well-learned practitioner. My dance card is to say the least utterly devoid of annotation, purposefully, although dancing is one physical indulgence I miss most heartily. But regrettably few premise are designed in this introverted twenty-first century for the communal joys of tango, waltz, and most especially rhumba. The joy of the tea dance, the sharing of cake and chassé, is relegated to a long distant and forgotten age.
Being side tracked into daydreams of past happenstances is a major occupation, one I find quite easy to accommodate, remembering memorable occasions, even mildly amusing moments. Considering what might have been, what should have been, had I chosen to turn left instead of right, perhaps just stayed put instead of wandering.
Musings without recriminations, for the die was cast, and the to do list is long enough.