19th November 2021

Please! My most exuberant friends, belabor me with tales most cheering and wistful, sufficient to dispel the terrible forces of nature that seems to cast their shadows across our dealings, hopes, and possibilities, from every conceivable point of the compass.

 Depression s a force I have largely held at bay my entire life, carefully concealed behind a veil just thick enough to deflect the emotions consequences from every day appearance and vocation. The threat has ever remained, chained, goaled, discreetly disguised from easy recognition, for ‘tis a disease that spreads more rampantly that any present virus in our focus.

My initial slide being quite naturally coming from  the realization that planet earth was not the nirvana my prophet Willian Blake has espoused in all his writings and marvelous interpretations, but was rather but an imaginary oasis along the rocky pathway to Golgotha, which must eventually be all of our destinations.

Such fatalism does not sit easily upon the young, and so I sweetened my convictions with a constant flow of distracting nothings, amusements, pleasures, momentarily meaningful but relative to a reasonably long lifetime mere diversions. Thus was my woe successfully masked, plated in a metal sufficiently hard wearing to remain peerless to all but the most discerning eye.

As with all false coatings wear will eventually work through the overlay, particularly in areas of stress and constant friction, to expose quite graphically the reality laying hid incognito below the otherwise gleaming shroud. The subordinate surface is base metal at its most easily spoiled, oxidizing, flaking, corroding, disintegrating with wholly natural ease and speed.

I can still present haughty oblivion to the terminal finality of the condition, years of practice have set me well in the skill of brushing over faults up to their ultimate failure, a final condition that exceeds even my powers to blindly and deafly disregard. Yet still the gilded smile remarkably remains.

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