24th September 2021

Alice’s rabbit hole should be remembered for exactly what it is, not a direct descent to derangement, or even to Wonderland, but a rather discombobulating spiral, bypassing many strange and unnatural ledges inhabited by all kinds of unfortunate creatures, before an unnecessarily sudden stop at the bottom of somewhere else entirely.

The somewhere else entirely is neither magical or mysterious, it is just confusingly topsy turvey, with all the logic of the most peculiar Gilbert and Sullivan light opera set in a most wayward land, and an affinity to the refection of a mirror observed through the eyepiece of a persistently transforming kaleidoscope. Each new visage, scene, dysfunctional conversation does little to nothing to explain or clarify the confusion, rather just piles a little more highly combustible fuel to an already all-consuming conflagration. Must disturbingly the fireman empowered to control this pyre are all absurd, armed with buckets of kerosene rather than water, fiery torches in place of flashlights, and most flammable tinder continually spilling from their exceeding deep utilitarian pockets.

The playing cards decks that inflict their own haphazard nature upon each and every organized event, without any particular reference to any game ever published in any known edition of Hoyles, ensure that every beast, from sovereign to commoner, is consistently balanced upon one foot alone, teetering at the very edge of reason and rationality. The Rabbit would suggest the answer to all problems and doubts is never, ever be late, not one single moment, for the slightest tardiness will undoubtedly result in decapitation, if not from yourself then for some other poor beast.

I am inclined to follow the Hatters advise on all matters physical and phycological, if doubt do ever exist, should a question hover ponderingly in the firmament, take a goodly draught of tea, in a bone China cup and saucer quite naturally, for Carmellia sinensis as any well-educated Britain will tell you, for the most reasonable fee of but half a guinea, is the solution to all muddles, ills, distresses, and aches and pains. Milk first please!

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