3rd October 2020

My seeming sudden lack of ability to recover from the most minor of physical setbacks is quite alarming. For all my apparent nimbleness, mobility, stamina, I am hard pressed to break the thinnest of skin upon a rice pudding. ‘Horses for courses’ is the phrase best used to describe suitability to function, fast lean fillies for the Derby, heavier set emasculated beasts for the steeplechase, and old codgers like myself for first the knackers yard then the glue factory.

I am not complaining, much, some dilapidation obviously being expected, a slight difficulty bending perhaps, the occasional inadvertent wobble, decidedly less bounce in the pas de Basque are all acceptable if sometimes irritating happenstances. Far more disappointing is the arrival of fatigue, not the good kind following a bout of boxing or even better a night of sheet wrestling, but rather the kind that makes a simple task like tying a shoelace a major accomplishment if completed with suitable speed, digital dexterity, and  without the embarrassment of putting ass to floor.

Life rapidly becomes a matter of choices, firstly is a task worthy of attempting, secondly within the bounds of being successfully completed, and thirdly is the resultant feeling of accomplishment really important enough to warrant such possibly tedious and life endangering activity.

 I have always prided myself on having the constitution of a grizzled bear, seemingly immune to all manner of virus, germ, bacteria, that might dare to approach my respiratory or circulatory systems. As well as now avoiding sitting in draughts, going outside with wet hair, forgetting my undershirt, I am now also inclined to carefully watch my diet, avoid things too acid, overly salty, hot and spicy, indeed anything with more flavor or texture than over boiled oatmeal. The Pleasures of overindulgence no longer counter the joys of having my head in a bucket and my feet positioned precariously in the bottom of an overly greased coffin.


I present this piece of ageist diatribe at the behest of a piece of highly questionable fried chicken I foolishly consumed but a day ago to my later agonizing contrition.

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