Much of what I write in this blog is self-educational, a way of me talking directly to the universe in the hope that on occasion some vague semblance of an answer will miraculously appear to show direction or help explain deed, misdeed, activity, sloth, progress, regression, hopefully plainly and clearly and ever in a manner most self-elucidating. Life has always presented me with eternal mystery, a treasure map overflowing with deeply incised crosses marking equal numbers of overladen treasure chests and threatening booby traps. That each and every individual step along this fraught highway to heaven or hell is overstuffed with wonder, boredom, love, hate, hope and disappointment but makes the journey the more worthwhile.
The debate between me choosing a particular path or being in some way coerced is a matter that causes me much contention. Certainly looking backwards I can clearly see signposts at each and every crossway, clearly indicating a pathway right, left, forward or backward but without that most desirable of benefits, a clearly indicated destination. Whether my stride would have faltered one jot had such a useful tool as foresight been proffered or available is plainly a matter for conjecture. Fools most certainly rush in where the wise refrain from treading, yet those same intelligent procrastinators are oft wholly valueless in a reality where opportunity and danger are differentiated simply by the abstract flip of a coin. Experience, especially bad experience teaches lessons in a manner almost impossible to ignore or forget. Whilst never being myself inclined to avoid perpetrating the same error repeatedly I have always assumed the solemn duty to advice, refrain, even physically restrain others from walking wholly inadvisable paths. I look to my experiences as being a torch to pierce the darkness for others as opposed to some beacon for mine own future comfort. The pleasures, joys, delights, unmissable adventures I have encountered along the supposed wrong road are quite truthfully the greatest blessings of my journey.
My eventual judgement, an occasion I have never doubted for one solitary instance, will be without doubt a most one-sided affair. No apologies, no expectations of pity or allowance. Any regret set aside for those coconspirators wholly innocent of any sin but gullibility or just plain old innocent loyalty.