26th September 2022

In succession I have sat on one side of the Atlantic Ocean and peered over that mighty expanse of salt water marveling at the abject stupidity happening quite blatantly upon the other. For decades, feeling the superior Briain, I watched somewhat amusedly. and equally quite horrified, as you Yanks continued unrelenting to expound, codify and prosecute an array of measures totally in opposition to any sense of equality, fair play, civilized behavior. To be continued unabated to the very present day. with the most disturbing reversal so Roe versus Wade.

My arrival in the Americas at the turn of the millennium was swiftly followed by the horror that was 9/11, stalked, as terrible events most often are, by an extreme over reaction, leading to decade and a half of constant warfare, solving all too little, but causing extraordinary global pain and suffering.  We did however arrive at ne moment most welcome, the election of a black president, a happenstance totally unbelievable but a few years earlier, This momentous event seemed to promise to lead to the possible succession of a woman, breaking another long overdue taboo, but the sudden inexplicable reemergence of animus and prejudice quashed that pipedream, rather catapulting the mighty United States momentarily, for one presential term. backwards into darkness and despair. Thankfully the light did reemerge, after quite the constitutional scare, and normal forward moving service resumed, somewhat falteringly, but thus is the manner or progress.

I know sit in semi peaceful retirement on my blessed island as latitudinally distant from my birthplace as if possible to be on this continent and am treated to the sight of those dark satanic mills fitfully throwing themselves politically and socially off the white cliff of Dover like a confused and frankly touched suicide of Lemmings.

Do I care? Naturally I do. It pains me deeply to see my nation, and very specifically my remaining overseas family suffer privations though the error and misdirection of politicians, economists, and social media.

But in time Gods good all this too will pass.

25th September 2022

I rise each day a six in the morning, my medications calling me unerringly. Coffee is taken, and savored, one of the few flavors I truly have ever missed, much more than tea strangely, which whilst as particular to my taste does not hold the same abject desirability.  I plan the day following my toiletries quite explicitly, often including a trip to meet and greet a friend or close neighbor, involving a jaunt of a mile or two, just to loosen the legs and stir the blood.

But the best laid plans of man and beast are oft left hanging, incomplete, needing just a little more drive, impetus, to be fulfilled. The chill from of sloth, indolence, do oft appear to interfere with such physical demands, suggesting rather caution, delay, belaying the excursion to a more suitable occasion. That moment being quite illusory, ineffable, sporadic, vague.

I ever have instead a short paragraph or two to contrive and incise upon some handy blank space, to be read, defaced, or ignored   by any imagined awaiting audience. A number necessarily exclusive and tasteful.

24th September 2022

I have of been inclined to enjoin the general dissatisfaction that infests the world, the very casual way we all have of complaining about seeming all and everything, large and small, significant, and piddling. I was a serial offender, a practiced and efficient proponent, as capable as any of righting slightest wrong with a waggle of my tongue, and a sharp outpouring if invective. Oh how the mighty are fallen, a chill blast of misfortune from the annals of probability and my whingeing ways are erased utterly, most efficiently.

It would quite be reasonable to suppose such a turn of fortune would be disorienting, galling, the mother of all inconvenience, an end of meaningful interaction with other gibbering, loquacious homo sapiens. This premise is far from the case, my hearing and vision having stepped smartly forward to bravely attempt to bridge this suddenly arrived chasm.   I was obliged to listen, meaningfully, carefully, to observe, expression, posture, to consider the validity of words, their meaning, significance.

Statements of negativity become quite insignificant, of little or no import, timesteps going nowhere, just beating loudly and most irritatingly. Ebullience however jubilates the spirit, the very atmosphere, enlightening darkness as do the finest beeswax candles ablaze in a crystal candelabra.  

Now, being without a voice, lacking much in the way whatsoever of vocalization, I do yearn to remark, observe, comment, almost consistently, most constantly, escape this cloak of silence that has settled most insidiously upon my shoulders.

I long to cry out with thanks, for breath, life, continuance.  For friends, whose help and support enabled me to survive as more than an empty lonely shell. To medics all who patched and croqueted this feeble physique together most efficiently.  For a universe that borders upon perfection most of the time, filled with wonderous gifts to be lauded and savored.  

My dear friends set aside your ire, the anger and discontent that fills you heart and soul most unsatisfactorily.  Accept rather a portion my joy, just monetarily, for ‘tis infectious.

23rd September 2022

Our lives on a daily basis are allowed, aided, shaped, contrived, permitted by the ongoing convention of a fleet of rapidly aging, somewhat dilapidated vessels, quite unsuited for the purpose of being the life blood of an ongoing, ever growing island community.   The very distancing that keeps this place idyllic, exclusive, adorable, desirable, is the most tangible     reasoning for the constant decline of this rocks viability as a thriving colony.

As fortunate but somewhat petty residents, we are inclined to bemoan the besmirching effects tourism, in truth the only industry able and ever liable to support the amenities we all enjoy so magnanimously. Our thanks is grudging, dragged forth painfully, disagreeably, spoke behind masking palms to mitigate any obvious show of gratitude or sullen acceptance.

I am a resident; I consider a decade enough to claim that permanence. A purposeful lifer, with desire and intent to exist and depart neath Orcas skies.  Near rare a commodity as that great beast that shares my affiliation.

22nd September 2022

The most easily identifiable fault with rumor, innuendo, is that like brand-new heavy weight woven cotton pillow cases they tend to fit too neatly, exactly, explicitly, without a wrinkle or need for extemporary crease. True statements, accurate descriptions tend toward vagary, approximation, just sufficient information to sketch a notion, but not enough to fabricate an exactitude or most dangerously a false reflection.

The genuine is obvious, unmistakable, has an intrinsic quality, a feel, impression, smell, taste, cannot be falsified, forged, replicated, simulated, no matter the time effort, expense   lavished upon any imitation. People in common with objects, when real, original, authentic, positively glow, shine in their verity, are tangible, undeniable, palpable, concrete, corporal.

Falsehood is illusional, reeks of fakery, feigns actuality, offends our sense or rightness, any inner certainly of origination. Perfidy in thoroughly exhausting, leaving body and soul drained, fatigued, debilitated.

21st September 2022

The ancient gods were mightily supernatural, but also understandable, filled to bursting with the same holiness and sin, good and evil, as the individuals whom worshiped them, and looked on adoringly for their advice and example. That these paranormal exemplars manifested quite so many traits easily recognizable as human in appearance, says much about their origin and development. To be in part or wholly godly, both physically and spiritually, has ever been ultimate ideal goal for any aspiring homo sapiens.

To encapsulate, epitomize, the characteristics, foibles, of an immortal, a celestial being, is to court great attention, the possibility of immense power and influence, to hold oneself and be held by others in great esteem, or equally and opposingly in mighty derision, dependent on taste and any moral or ethical compass.

Such a seer will be held incredibly highly, or extraordinary lowly, can be welcomed or rejected as an auger, enjoying, or suffering all and any the consequential realization.  

20th September 2022

My philosophies are all encompassing, without edge, or boundary. I do not claim for them universality, that would be impossibly vain and provably false, rather they are all over the place, higgeldy piggeldy, without rhyme or reason, ramblings recognizable as aged, disturbed, as wholly illogical thought process. I suffer, we all suffer such a condition, rapidly exacerbating, continually compounding, degenerating most predictably with the gathering of experience and the following postulation, attestation.   

All such observations, illustrations, seem very astute, but are based largely upon a erroneous assumption, that the procrastinator has insight above and beyond the everyday, a spyglass pointed direct at meanings and influences outside any true knowledge or expertise. Recently, I have withdrawn to a reticent silence, fully echoing my senses lack of words, presenting in public and private the aura of watcher, detached, uninvolved with everyday happenings and concerns. A life most simple, floating apparent care within upon this turbulent ocean.

19th September 2022

My hearts, my beings, connection to and with the universe is very close. Any pretext of indifference or casualness in that fundamental relationship that is long departed, fled, much be a startled ewe in the deepest, darkest, of night.

This surge of reciprocation has not been sudden, overnight, has akin to a slow and almost unbeknownst drizzle, that fine but constant accumulation of a downpour that soaks cloths and skin unabated to instigate the most trying and somber of circumstances.

This morning I awoke to the most mysterious appearance of a fully mature dragonfly staring frantically from the interior of a skylight in my kitchens ceiling, How the creature appeared I have no notion, had heard no commotion, seen no previous fluttering of spiderweb wings. I was suddenly struck doubly dumb and overcome with awe.

With care I released the beast to the exterior, but remain to this moment disturbed by the incongruity, the unlikelihood, absurdity, any compatibility with my understood reality.

18th September 2022

I oft do sit either drowsing or hard asleep, turning over past, present, futures all, as if any such moments might be made quite changeable, controllable, capable of neat manipulation, to be ever helpful by falling in line with wishes, desires, instead of being controlled by the purest chance, a roll of the most arbitrary of dice, with outcome completely random, erratic, uncontrolled.

Like everyone else I heartily dislike serendipity. Long experience having taught me that luck is a but a two faceted coin that will prove cruel and inconsiderate at minimum half of the time. I much prefer to only welcome certainly, the goodly promise that progress will follow patterns ever agreeable to my inclinations, a circumstance that will require the spending of endless hours of skullduggery to ensure results indisputably only favorable to the principal party, myself.

 But truthfully any such sureness would prove far too predictable, fixed, conclusive, boring. Gambling is the spice of life, prime source of both appetite and satisfaction.

17th September 2022

I continue to witness each and very day the dangers of believing in an idea, a theory, an intellectual machination. Such vagaries are open to opinion, personification, conjecture, manipulation, adaption to a form utterly incompatible to any originators good and honest intent.

Rather I hold my allegiances to realities, existences, matters of fact rather than fiction, actualities complete and complex with highs and lows, advantages, and errors, wonderous jewels and ugly scars, proven, honed, molded, chiseled, through both pain a glory, historically, continually.

Outlooks, viewpoints are arbitrary, open to discussion, contention, postulation. They are never set in stone, undeniable, indefatigable, indefensible, unapologetic, stark, ill-favored, exactly describable, wholly regrettable, but chronologically unavoidable. Power must be witnessed to be understood, dissected, vilified, or praised. A proposal holds far more danger, threat, than any practice. A sculpture can be overthrown quite easily, a conjecture not as certainly, or finally.